


Keep Your Hand Inside of Mine

by Green



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Pre-Canon, Uncle/Nephew Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 01:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20649263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green/pseuds/Green
Summary: Two years later, when Derek is 18, Laura kicks him out when she finds out the truth about the fire. Derek goes back to Beacon Hills and to the scarred man he never stopped loving.





	Keep Your Hand Inside of Mine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lostwithoutmyanchor (mysourwolf)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysourwolf/gifts).

> based on a prompt Lost gave me like two years ago and I'm only getting around to writing now. 
> 
> I heard the song "Lost" by Dermot Kennedy and it screamed Deter to me, so I had to write this. Title comes from the song, of course.

Afterward, when Derek is hitchhiking back across the country, back to Beacon Hills, he blames himself and his stupid lack of foresight. He should've known he'd want to confess if he was drinking. He should've known his tolerance to wolfsbane and alcohol was low. Just like he should've known that telling an Argent his family's secrets would end in misery and death.

But he hadn't known. Hadn't given it a second thought. So for his eighteenth birthday, he drank wolfsbane-infused liquor and got drunk enough to spill his secrets to Laura. 

Now, he's traveling back to the only other home he can remember because Laura kicked him out. She told him he was a traitor, a murderer, and she didn't want to see him again.

_First your uncle, and then a hunter? There's something wrong with you_, she said.

Derek flinches now at the memory.

"Okay, kid?" the driver of the car he's in asks.

Derek nods. "Yeah." He looks out the window and tries to exude an air of 'please don't ask'. 

He never understood why Laura left Peter back in Beacon Hills. Now, he realizes it's because of him. She knew Derek was in love with Peter. She thought it was sick. So she left Peter alone, defenseless, as she dragged Derek across the country to safety.

At the time, Derek protested. She ordered him to leave with her, though. He couldn't do much against an alpha's order, especially not at sixteen.

He still feels guilty for leaving. Now, though, at least he can go back. He can be by Peter's side while he heals. Or, if he never gets better, at least Derek can say he tried.

He should've known better, though. He's never drinking again.

Of course, it doesn't matter because it's too late. The damage is done. Laura knows now, and…

She deserved to find out the truth. And Derek deserved to get kicked out. He should've known better, but it's over. He's lost his place in the pack, in his family. All that's left is Peter, and he's not even conscious.

* * *

It takes three days to get back to Beacon Hills. He's dirty, thirsty, and hungry when he arrives, and he's not sure what to do. 

There's a house not far from the hospital, blinds drawn, lights out, and car out of the garage. Newspapers piling up in the driveway. No fresh scent of the house's inhabitants, so he figures they're on vacation. He breaks in through the back door — he'll try to fix the hinges on the way out again. 

He takes a shower and heats up two cans of beef stew, drinks a bunch of water and juice. 

He changes into a clean pair of jeans and a shirt, suddenly grateful that Laura gave him time to pack. He emerges from the house feeling a little better, though he knows he can't risk going back there. He leaves a twenty-dollar bill on the kitchen counter for the food and use of the house, though.

Then he goes to see Peter.

The burns have healed, for a loose definition of 'healed'. Peter's scarred horrifically, but Derek doesn't so much as twitch when he sees them. He feels guilt and sorrow, but he doesn't flinch away from the look of them.

It's still Peter, under the scars. Or maybe this is the new Peter. Either way, there's no getting away from the truth.

The nurse on shift tells him that Peter's a medical wonder, that surviving the fire and healing as well as he has is nothing short of miraculous. "He was in a medically induced coma for some time, but once we stopped the medications keeping him under, he stayed in his coma. I'm sorry."

Derek waves her off. "Do you mind if I sit with him?"

"Oh! No, that's fine. He's never had a visitor. It'll probably be good for him." She gives him a smile and leaves, closing the door behind him. 

There's another bed in the room. Derek didn't think to ask if Peter had to share his room. So many questions. 

He pulls a chair close to Peter's bed and takes a scarred hand in his own. He knows he should talk to Peter, but he's not sure what to say.

In the end, he says nothing, just sits there, holding Peter's hand and wishing he could go back two years and fix everything.

* * *

When Derek was a teenager, he tried desperately to hide his feelings, to distract himself with other people, even to distance himself from the object of his affections. But Peter was always there, and Derek always loved him.

His mother understood. She even talked to him about it once. She said she got it, that sometimes the heart just wants what it wants. That incest for werewolves wasn't as taboo as in the human world. But that he should wait until he was older to see if he should pursue that particular relationship.

Derek had smiled and hugged her, but Laura must have heard, too. She didn't tell him until years later, when she threw it in his face, and she wasn't as understanding as Talia had been.

Derek isn't sure if Peter ever knew, but Peter was the smartest person in the family, so he probably did. He never said much about it, though sometimes his hugs were longer, his touch a tad lingering. Never anything inappropriate, though. Peter was respectful and careful. 

Derek wonders if he'd been waiting like Derek was.

Not that it matters, now.

* * *

Peter wakes up a month after Derek gets back to town. Well, sort of. His eyes are open and he's able to do some things with assistance, like eat and use the bathroom, but he's not _there_. Catatonic, the medical staff calls it. They think it's from the trauma of the fire.

Which makes Derek feel even guiltier.

He holds Peter's hand and bows his head. Derek doesn't think he deserves the luxury of crying, but he does that, too.

* * *

"I still love you," Derek whispers to Peter. It's a full moon, and Peter seems more restless than usual, even in his catatonic state. "I won't leave you again. I promise."

There is a stillness in the hospital; no one is milling about to peek in. So Derek climbs into the bed with Peter and holds his hand. 

"I'm not leaving," he says again. "I love you." Then, because he still hopes, "Please come back."

He doesn't know if Peter can hear him, but he keeps talking to him.

Day in, day out, Derek talks to Peter. At first, he doesn't know what to say, but eventually, he starts to read random old magazines that are hanging around the long-term care unit. Once he realizes Peter would hate them, he starts going to the library and checking out books he thinks would interest his uncle.

It's easier to read than talk about what's on his mind, but Derek does that, too. He waits until the moon is out and filtering through the shades in Peter's room. He remains until the floor is quiet, and then he whispers secrets. Mostly about how much he loves Peter, how much he needs him back.

And slowly, slowly, he feels Peter get stronger through their bond. The bond itself, sick and thready when Derek first came back, is more substantial and glows in Derek's mind. Peter is holding onto him the way Derek is holding onto Peter. They need each other. They'll get through this.

Even though Peter isn't wholly there, even though he's unresponsive to most things, Derek knows he's getting better. 

The nights are long. The days, somehow, are longer. And Derek does have to leave at times, mostly for appearance but also because sleep can't be put off forever, and neither can eating. He knows he's lost weight, but he often forgets he needs to do things like drink water and eat sandwiches.

He doesn't have a lot of money at first, but he knows the way into the vault. He has to go to the library to find out what to do with bearer bonds, but he figures it out, and it's not long before he has money for necessities and more. 

He feels a little guilty for taking them, but Laura has plenty of money, payouts from life insurance policies. This is, ultimately, for Peter, not Derek, not really.

"I'm going to get us a place," Derek tells Peter one night. "It'll be small, but it'll be ours. Somewhere you can heal. I'll take care of you, and one of the nurses already told me about a good agency to find home care. We're getting through this. I promise."

It's a lot to say, but he figures he should tell Peter ahead of time. Just in case he's listening.

* * *

On the edge of the Preserve, miles away from the original Hale House, is a little cabin. It's the perfect size for two. It only has one bedroom, but that's fine with Derek. If later, once he's better, Peter would rather not sleep with Derek, Derek can stay on the couch in the living room.

For now, Derek crawls into bed next to Peter every night and holds him, whispering good things in his ear, telling him how much he cares, how Peter's going to get better, how much Derek needs him.

Derek does need Peter. The pack bond with Laura is strained nearly to breaking. It's only his tether to Peter keeping him from going omega, but that's not the only reason he needs to stay close.

He loves Peter. Truly does, and has for years. He left with Laura in the beginning, but he hadn't had a choice. Now he does, and he's choosing Peter. He _could_ have found another pack, looked for one of his mom's friends. He remembers some names, alphas his mother trusted. It would be safer in a large pack.

But he can't leave Peter again. He wishes he could offer his uncle more than just his devotion and love, maybe some kind of safety of his own. But he knows a pack wouldn't take on an injured packmate they don't know, and Derek wouldn't join a pack that wouldn't take Peter.

He does contact someone, though, and she gives him some advice. Satomi's pack is hidden, but Derek can find them. They aren't far when you know where to look, and Talia taught him a long time ago how to find them. 

Satomi gives him a long look and then smiles. "You're doing the right thing for your uncle. I can appreciate that. And it's not unknown for a couple of betas to form a close enough bond to be each other's anchors."

"So we don't need an alpha?" Derek asks her.

"One of you will eventually take up that role. It's only natural."

Derek doesn't know how that would work, but he knows for sure he wouldn't be the alpha proxy. "You think he'll get better, then?"

"He's already better, isn't he?" Satomi asks. She looks over at Peter, whose head is cocked to the side but whose eyes are still blank. "He's awake, at least. With someone so devoted by his side, I'm sure he'll come back to you."

"Then what?" Derek asks himself, though it comes out of his mouth without him thinking.

"That's up to the two of you."

She gets up to leave but pauses before she's gone completely. "I'm disappointed with your sister. She's proven she wasn't ready to be an alpha. Abandoning a beta and disowning another isn't right."

"She had her reasons," Derek says, but he doesn't know why he tries to defend Laura.

"Maybe so. But she was petty and vindictive, and the alpha mantle carries responsibilities she's not fulfilling." Then Satomi leaves, and Derek wonders why Satomi mentioned it. She can't do anything about it, can she?

Later, Derek finds a card on his kitchen table. It's got Satomi's cell number on it, and a short note. _If you need anything._

He realizes he didn't ask her for anything more than a conversation. He knows better than to ask for Satomi's protection — she has her own pack to look after, and she's wary of outsiders. Still, he may need her some time, in an emergency, so he puts the card away carefully in his wallet.

Then he turns back to Peter. "Just the two of us again, then."

* * *

Peter goes missing on a full moon a few months later. Derek just about loses his shit, but then he breathes and tells himself he has to stay together so he can find him. He doesn't have anyone else to turn to. He's got to track Peter himself.

The fact that it's a full moon makes Derek think Peter just got up and wandered off. He's been more active when the moon is full, at least for the past few months, so he probably just went outside and got lost.

Derek's sense of smell is good, but it's night, and it's harder to track in the dark. He lets his eyes glow and uses everything at his disposal to find his uncle. Peter's trail leads through the forest until things start looking uncomfortably familiar. Peter was headed straight to their old house, and Derek is afraid of what will happen when he gets there.

But he finds Peter standing in front of the house, not inside. He's looking at the front, or what's left of it. It used to be a beautiful, large home, full of love and pack and everything Derek needed. Now it's just a burnt-out husk of bad memories.

"Peter?" Derek calls softly. 

Peter doesn't look away from the house, but he does go still.

Derek's not sure what to say. "Why are we out here?" he finally asks.

Peter doesn't answer.

The moon is bright in the sky and directly overhead, so Derek can see his uncle clearly. He steps closer and brushes his hand against Peter's. 

Peter slips his hand into Derek's, and Derek nearly loses his breath.

"Are you there?" Derek asks him. "Are you back?"

And it's then that Peter turns his head to look at him. Derek can't read the expression on his face, but there are tears in Peter's eyes. Derek squeezes his hand. 

"Do you want to stay here for a little while, or come back home with me?" Derek asks.

Peter turns back to the house, but he doesn't drop Derek's hand. "I thought I lost everything." Peter's voice is thin, arid. It's clear that this is the first thing he's said in years.

"You have me," Derek says. He swallows the lump in his throat and blinks back tears. He's never been able to see Peter upset without getting a little upset himself.

But Peter's talking. He's back. He's up and walking and talking and Derek's never been so relieved over something in his life. 

Peter smiles. It pulls at the scars on his face, and Derek wonders what it feels like, but he's still Peter. Derek loves him more than anything.

"C'mon. Let's go home," Derek says.

Peter nods and turns toward him. Then he stumbles into Derek's arms, and Derek holds him close, or maybe he's the one being held. Either way, Derek's eyes fill with tears, and he shoves his nose into the crook of Peter's neck. 

"God, I've missed you so much," Derek says brokenly.

Peter's hold is strong for someone who's been so weak for so long, and Derek idly wonders who is holding who up right now.

"I'm here," Peter tells him. "I'm here, pup."

Derek lets out a soft sob and holds on tighter. 

"It's okay," Peter says, but Derek knows it's not.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Derek cries.

Peter doesn't let go, doesn't stop rubbing his back or holding him close. He rubs his face against Derek's, aggressively scenting him. "It wasn't your fault."

"I…"

"I heard you when you 'confessed' to me. It's okay, I don't blame you," Peter tells him.

Maybe Peter didn't hear it all. "I got our pack killed," Derek whispers brokenly. "It's all my fault."

Finally, Peter pulls away, but it's only to look Derek in the eye. "I know what happened, and- listen to me," he says when Derek tries to pull away. "Listen. I heard what you said. I know it was the Argents. That was not your fault. You were tricked."

"But Laura-"

Peter growls. "Laura's wrong. Laura… I'd like to get my hands around her sanctimonious little neck. The fire was in no way your fault."

And then Peter pulls Derek back into his arms, holding and rocking and shushing his tears. 

"I love you," Derek whispers without thinking. The words just come out.

"I heard that, too," Peter says without letting go.

There's a heat in Derek's face. "Yeah?" he asks worriedly.

"I'm not Laura, baby. I'm not going to berate you for something like that." He sounds like he's about to say more, but then Peter's knees go a little weak and Derek has to hold him to keep him from falling.

"Let's go home," Derek says.

Peter growls, obviously frustrated, but he doesn't contradict Derek's words. "Fine."

"Do you like the cabin?" Derek asks on the way back. "Obviously I couldn't ask you what you wanted, but we can move if you want."

Peter leans heavily on Derek, but the pace isn't too slow. "I think it suits us."

Derek smiles shyly. "I thought so." He suddenly remembers he's been sleeping in Peter's bed and feels heat in his face again. "Um, I hope it's okay that I haven't been on the couch at night, but I can start doing that. I just thought. I mean, I liked being close to you, but I don't have to do that."

Peter pauses right in front of the cabin and looks at Derek, smiling a little. "Sweetheart, one of the things that brought me back was having pack. Having you share a bed and sleep so close to me actually helped, I think."

"But now that you're better…" Derek looks away, then shakes his head. "It's okay. The couch is comfortable."

Peter sighs, sounding exasperated. "Let's go inside. I'm tired. But we need to talk about this, obviously."

Derek nods, expecting the worst. He leads Peter inside the cabin and takes him into the bathroom to wash his feet. Peter went wandering in the woods without socks or shoes, so now his feet are filthy. 

"Thank you," Peter says softly.

Derek looks up at him from where he's kneeling on the floor. "It's no big deal."

"For everything," Peter clarifies. "You brought me back. You helped me heal."

"You'd have done the same for me, wouldn't you?" Derek asks him.

Peter smiles, but then he must feel the pull of his scars, and he brings a hand to the side of his face. The scars don't matter to Derek, but Peter had always been vain about his looks. Obviously, he would be upset about them now.

Peter drops his hand and clears his throat. "Yes. Of course I would."

Derek reaches up carefully and touches Peter's scarred face. It's not the first time, but he's aware of how intimate the moment is. Peter flinches just a little when Derek's fingertips trace the remnants of the burns, but Derek doesn't pull away. 

"I love you just as much now as I did before," Derek says earnestly. "They're just scars."

"Scars all down the side of my body," Peter says wryly. "I know what I look like."

"You're gorgeous," Derek tells him, and there's no blip in his heartbeat because this is just how he feels. Peter will always be beautiful to him.

Peter sucks in a breath, then slides a hand into Derek's hair. "You're kind of a miracle, aren't you?"

"What do you mean?" Derek asks.

But Peter just shakes his head, not elaborating. "Go on into the bedroom, I can finish up in here."

"You want me in there, still?" Derek asks.

Peter rolls his eyes. "Unless you _prefer_ the couch, I'd much rather have you in my bed."

The phrasing sets Derek's heart beating faster, and he's sure Peter knows exactly what he said. Peter even smirks, and Derek blushes. 

"Okay," Derek says, rising to his feet. "Call out if you need me."

Peter nods and Derek goes into the bedroom. He takes his shoes off, and then his shirt. Derek usually sleeps without a shirt, so that's not unusual. So then why is he so nervous?

Peter takes about five more minutes, and then he walks out, slow but sure. He moans softly when he sits down on the bed. "I think I overdid it. Just a little."

"Are you hurting?" Derek asks anxiously.

Peter nods. "A little. I'll feel better once I rest up, though."

"Or you could let me drain it," Derek says.

Peter has a look on his face like the thought hadn't occurred, and like he can't believe Derek would do it for him. "Okay," he says quietly. He lies down and pats the other side of the bed. "Lie down, you're making me nervous just standing there."

Derek's been sleeping with Peter for months now, it shouldn't feel any different to do it now. But it does feel different, especially when for the first time, Peter takes him into his arms and Derek can rest his head over Peter's heart while a hand cards gently through his hair.

Derek drains Peter's pain, and Peter lets out a soft sound of relief. He was hurt more than he let on.

"When you were fifteen, I talked to Talia about you," Peter says quietly. "I told her I thought you were the one for me. A possible mate. And she understood. Just told me to wait, which I was planning to do anyway."

"Fifteen? That's before she and I talked about you," Derek says.

"I've loved you for a long time, sweetheart," Peter tells him.

Derek smiles in the dark. He likes that thought. But... "You never said anything."

Peter sighs. "You were young. You still are. I didn't want to tie you down in case you felt differently."

"I…" Derek says, but then he thinks about the situation and realizes Peter did the best thing. If there had been no fire, they would have gotten together eventually, and it would have been fine. 

If there hadn't been a fire, a lot of things would be different. Not this, though. Not their love.

"...thank you," Derek finally says. "For looking out for me."

Peter growls softly. "I should have done a better job. I can't believe that bitch got to you right under my nose."

Derek takes Peter's hand and holds it in his own. "It's in the past, right? Nothing we can do about it now, and it was definitely not your fault if it wasn't mine." It's a little hard to believe he's absolutely blameless, but Peter shouldn't feel guilty for it, that's for sure.

"I'm going to get better, darling. And then I'm going to find her and make her pay."

Peter's words are soft, a little slurred from his tiredness, but they make a chill run through Derek's body at how absolute they sound. He doesn't want Peter going after anyone. Doesn't want him getting hurt. But if he has help…

"As long as you don't try to do it alone," Derek says. He squeezes Peter's hand.

"I wouldn't keep you from your own revenge," Peter says, and then yawns.

Derek doesn't care about revenge, not really. He cares about Peter, about staying together and safe. But he'll do this for Peter if it means less danger for him.

"I love you," Derek whispers. He can tell Peter is drifting off, can hear his breaths slow and feel his body relax against Derek's own.

"Love you too, darling," Peter breathes and uses what's probably the last of his energy to give Derek's head a kiss. Then he's sleeping, even snoring lightly.

Derek lies awake for a long time after that, just enjoying being close to his uncle, thrilled that he's better, and trying not to overthink about how much danger they'll be in to go after hunters in revenge.

When he finally falls asleep, though, it's with a smile on his face and hope in his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really proud of myself for writing a short fic and finishing it. Please don't ask for more lol (I laugh, but I'm not really kidding. this is a complete fic)
> 
> Let me know if you liked it, though.


End file.
